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Bloodsucking Freaks (1976) Review

Welcome to a very special event! I'm about to pop my "Horror Movie Review" cherry. I have never written a review of anything before, and I would like to take this time to thank all of the previous posters and reviewers whose excellent posts served as a template for me to place my feet upon firm ground. And a special thanks to the moderators and te creators for giving me an opportunity and for providing a forum for reviews! And on that note, I can't think of a better way to begin than with this little gem, "Bloodsucking Freaks". The 1970’s will always be remembered in the film world as the decade that tested the boundaries of what could be brought to the screen. Sex and gore were no longer suggested, but brought to the spotlight in a brutal and startling way. This particular film (like many during the 70s) was banned upon release in the US and Canada for several years.

From the bad editing, to the corny soundtrack that appears to be made solely on an ancient Cao keyboard, this movie is a fine example of the 70s era torture porn exploitation flick. TROMA, synonymous with the B-Movie brand, produced this lovely specimen in the mid 70s. I would say it might have been the inspiration for Eli Roth's "Hostel" flicks, with the exception of being posbly even more violent and gorey. It caters to every craving a ck mind could hope for. Mutilations! Nudity! A Puerto Rican midget named Ralphus! Let me introduce you to some seriously twisted individuals:

Master Sardu This evil motherfucker is the Ringleader of an underground white slavery ring and Mastermind of 'The Theatre of the Macabre'; a back alley Vaudeville-esque show which features naked women tortured and killed in various creative ways. The audience is lead to believe what is taking place upon the stage is nothing more than expertly crafted illuon. It isn't. Interesting de note: The actor Seamus O'brien was brutally murdered less than a year after the movie's cinematic release.

Ralphus This ck little fuck is Master Sardu's right hand man. And quite talented he is! Watch him asst in sleep deprivation torture as he plays the cymbals for hours on end! Marvel at his deftness and guile as he plucks a women's eyeball right out of her head and consumes it on stage!

Interesting de note: This little prick went on to play as an Ewok in Return of the Jedi.

The Doctor I'm not even certain what his purpose is. I think he's kept around to extend the life of the tortured women who aren't outright killed on stage or in some other manner. He's paid in a very special form of currency: Free operations. That's right. They give him a special room and a girl to do whatever he pleases with, in whichever manner he chooses a la "Hostel" fashion. He's a ck bastard!

Here's the official Team Troma trailer: WARNING! Contains Nudity!

And here's a re-cut joke trailer that attempts to make this into a "family film" lol

Synops: What can be said about this little gem of a flick... Well, it's about a bunch of ckos doing terrible things to hot women. And then paying for it in the end. That about says it all. There are moments of (I'm about to coin this word) WTF-itude so poignant, you might feel the urge to turn the movie off. Others might find themselves rewinding scenes over and over again. In this movie you will find the most twisted game of backgammon ever (with fingers and toes wagered for ante) played, some amateur brain surgery performed by a total fucking weirdo, beheadings, foot amputations, a mind-controlled ballerina kicking a man to death...oh and a perverted midget eating popcorn, who seems delighted beyond words at the whole sadistic chaotic mess.

I was first introduced to this movie when I was probably 11 or 12 (which made it about 1992). I'd break into my brother's room when he was at work and rummage through all of his shit. His room was like an odd museum filled with taboo things, like glow in the dark velvet Pink Floyd posters, pinups of Hustler centerfolds, black lights, a veritable treasure trove of porn, and road gns that (I'm assuming) he and his friends stole from nearby areas. Just all sorts of (at the time) odd things that I wasn't allowed to have in my own room. Also discovered he was trying to grow his own marijuana a year later, but that's another story. Found this movie on VHS among a bunch of blank tapes in his closet. I'd say it caused me traumatic mental damage seeing it at that age...I was a goody-two-shoes until about 15. I had forgotten about it until my 2nd year at this computer school I went to when it just so happened a fellow classmate asked if I had ever seen it. A day later, a giant picture of Ralphus eating popcorn became my desktop background. The day after that, the dean of the fucking school comes into class, sees my desktop and proceeds to say "Heyyyyy look it's Ralphus!". I burst out laughing for a good 5 minutes. So did he. Couldn't believe someone who appeared to be so straight edge would have even heard of this movie.

The score: I give it an A- for the sheer balls to have made this movie. And C- for the production values.
Jonny Sicko Friday 10/21/2011 at 05:21 AM | 85607