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HorrorBid's Worst Halloween Candy List - How Many Make Your List?

This is the candy that HorrorBid's very own Brian Massey probably passes out each and every year, that in itself should warn you for whats to come! We'd like to dedicate this to all the little children who have ever been raped of a true Halloween experience. Lets be honest, it's all about the candy until the hormones kick in and then it's still all about the candy. When you say that holy phrase, "Trick or Treat" we really mean, "give me a full zed candy bar or we're egging your house later". Still, time and time again we've been screwed over with crap we wouldn't even let our dog's parates eat!

Loath anything we've not mentioned below? Drop us a comment and vent your frustration . . . it's ok, you can tell us and we'll make the bad candy go away (by driving to anybody's house who hands this crap out and beating them to an inch of their life, j/k . . . or are we?) Dum Dum Lollipops

Such a tease. The chameleon of candy. Sure, it looks like a toote pop but there's not a fun surprise in the middle. Why do you have to make all the children of the world cry . . . especially on Halloween? These choke-a-child candies also fall under the Hard Candy category but deserved a special highlight for their deceptive qualities. If Willy Wonka had an evil twin, he'd sell nothing but Dum Dum Lollipops. Are you Willy Wonka's evil twin? You are if you ever gave one of these to a child. Bit-O-Honeys

Bit-O-Crap more like it. we say you, find me the one who enjoys this garbage so we can sharpen the pitch forks and light the torches . . . we've got us a witch to carve. Groovy!Black Licorice

If you hand the venomous black mamba out to any children this year we will personally drive to your house, loop about a thousand of these death sticks together and hang you from your front porch light. The Devil doesn't like it when you feed children his jump rope. Peeps

We're sorry, we thought it was Halloween and not Easter? Whenever you see a peep hit your bag you know there's a fifty percent chance that it's left over from last April. Plus, we all know Jesus and the Devil don't get along so stop trying to provoke them! There's nothing like biting into a stale, marshmallowy goo covered in fuzz. Yum Pennies

For those of you trying to save a buck by handing out pennies at Halloween, think again. First, do you realize how many filthy, germ infested hands those coins have passed through? Also, did you know that it cost the U.S. mint more money to make a penny than that penny is worth? So by handing out pennies you are costing the rest of us money. STOP IT Circus Peanuts

Circus Peanuts completely taint our childhood memories of the real circus. In no way should these demon nuts be associate with the circus. And what's with that taste? It's nearly indescribable if words like horrible, disgusting, and kill yourself after eating don't do it. If you drop this in those little plastic pumpkins, you not only hate children but you hate yourself.Wax Lips

You're not even suppose to eat these but kids are generally stupid and will put anything in their mouths . . . especially when it's mixed with their Halloween Candy. As far as we're concerned, if you pass out Wax lips you are trying to poison America's youth! Plus, why do they need these? They're already wearing a costume. What gives? Wax lips labeled lame.Popcorn Balls

The Definition of Treat: - noun: anything that affords particular pleasure or enjoyment. Hmmm, popcorn balls don't fit that definition so WHY do freak'n morons keep handing these things out to kids on Halloween?! Anyone ever hear of communicable diseases? Flu season is right around the corner and you expect us to eat something that you handled with your bare hands cko?! We can tell you where to put that popcorn ball buddy. Toothbrushes

There's always that one dentist in the neighborhood who thinks they have to promote clean teeth amongst our bliss of candy. Seriously Doc? Most of us brush our teeth at least twice a day all year (well I do at least). That's 730 times a year folks. For the sake of Halloween, give the children one night without hygiene tips.Rains

Really? Rains on Halloween? Really? REALLY? Epic Fail. Kids if you get rains from any house expect the unexpected. Satan himself might very well be living on the premise dolling on what he is trying to pass off as Halloween candy. It's not, it's a fruit. Rains? REALLY? Argggg, Wax bottles with weird juice in the middle

Ok, why did we ever even try to eat/drink this? It's bad enough for those who handed this out (and you douches know who you are) but what possessed us to take that first bite and taste that waxy slime? And then, nce we went that far we continued hoping for some kind of juicy payoff to find it's only a drop of flavorless liquid. Stupid, Stupid, StupidMiscellaneous, Wrapped Hard Candies

The best part of Halloween was dumping your stash on the floor to find the good stuff, but what happens if there is no good stuff? That's what wrapped hard candy is . . . no good stuff. You know very well in this A.D.D. society that children don't have the self control to suck slowly on one piece of candy. They'll bite into that sucker and crack their teeth in the blink of an eye. We truly believe it's the dentists that hand out the hard stuff, everybody has to make a living somehow we guess.Apples

So who under 50 actually thinks an apple is a treat? Maybe on any other day but this is Halloween people! It's trick or treat not trick or healthy snack. Plus, most kids won't wash it before they eat it and will some how contract H1N1 and die . . . we don't know how, but you are killing kids if you give them apples. Hard Peanut Globs in Black & Orange Wax Paper

Handcrafted by Satan himself in the furnace of hell. HorrorBid's pick for worst candy to ever hand out on Halloween. Honestly, there is a special hell for people who give this to children. Only those with the blackest souls would dare offer this flavorless goo of taffy. I take it back about the toothbrush, after eating one of these you'll need it.
Horror Domain - Cursed Evil Overlord Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 12:39 AM | 86225
Handcrafted by Satan himself in the furnace of hell. HorrorBid's pick for worst candy to ever hand out on Halloween. Honestly, there is a special hell for people who give this to children. Only those with the blackest souls would dare offer this flavorless goo of taffy. I take it back about the toothbrush, after eating one of these you'll need it.

LOL... omg... so true. That stuff is HORRID. The only person I ever knew who ate it was my uncle, and every year he'd have a mound of it from all of us bringing it to him!

I have to vote for Ethnic Candies of Unknown Origin; the wrappers have abstract degns and words in languages you can't identify. Looks like chocolate, but who knows what's inde? Sometimes fruit, sometimes nuts, sometimes weird pastes with no real flavor and sometimes even liquor. But it's a crapshoot every time.
dew Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 01:24 AM | 86229
AH Dude MARYJANES.............Worst Fuckin' candy ever !!!!

They would tear the teeth right out of your head
DENMAN187 Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 01:33 AM | 86230
I LOVE Bit-O-Honey's!!
Anonymous Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 02:30 AM | 86236
ha! i remember some of those nasty candies! oh man that brought me back to my childhood lol
reelybored Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 03:22 AM | 86240
Say what you want, but I ADORE those weird little strawberry things. ...Everything else pretty much bites hard goat chode, though.
Airi Magdalene Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 10:45 AM | 86261
Took the kids trick or treating last night and I noticed each and every time someone dumped something on this list in their bags. Just crap to get in the way of the good stuff. Some of the suckers and hard candy are alright because I can take those to work and get some sugar, but I have to say the worst candy to be handed out is the cheap, gross chocolate. They come wrapped in aluminum that would probably taste better than the chocolate itself. Gag...
Ed Reilly Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 02:59 PM | 86272
i fucking love eating those lips

as wrong and awkward as that is (and sounds), I can chew on those bad boys for eternity lmao
Matt_Molgaard Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 04:19 PM | 86276
Agree with you on a lot of the, but I love Peeps no matter what the season. I also enjoy eating circus peanuts and the hard strawberry candy with the delicious goop or whatever it is inde.
ObscureCinema101 Tuesday 11/01/2011 at 09:09 PM | 86293
I'm surprised candy corn didn't make the list. I'm not a fan of it at all.
Demonoid Phenomenon Monday 10/29/2012 at 10:23 AM | 97478