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"FEAST" - A Gore-Licious Feast For The Eyes & Not For The Brain!

The only thing I knew about this cheap-o horror film going into it was that it was a winner on Project Green Light and was green lit by Wes Craven, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon.

Though none appear in the film.

The film stars Clu Gulager, Krista Allen (Yes, that Krista Allen), Jason Mewes (Yes, Jay is in this film) and a host of other unknowns.

Let's get this out of the way first.

Why is Clu Gulager in this film?

He was the star of numerous westerns and okay yes he was in Nightmare on Elm Street 2 as Jese's dad, but why do this film?

Because his son directed it and asked him to be in it!

Moving on.

From the title and cover of the video box you pretty much know what you are in for with this one: Old fashoned rubber suited monsters, bad acting, and gore.

All of which are celebrated in this film.Feast is actually a fun ride that tells the audience you know what?

We know that a film like this is just one huge bad cliche but we are going to have fun with it.

The director not only has the ambiguous "Let's introduce the audience to the charactors with a freeze frame and name card" but he also gives you the characters bios and the percent chance that they will survive the film!

No one has a real name in this film.

You have characters named Honey Pie, Boss Man, Coach, Hero, Heroinne, Heroinne, and Jason Mewes.

There is a ton of gore in this film but absolutely zero nudity, that would be below the standards of this film.

There is swearing up the whazoo and even a scene where the local scumbag, Bozo (I'm not kidding, that's his name) questions an elderly bar patron about what the creatures are, what the legends of these creatures are, how to kill them, etc.

Which has the lady asking him how the hell she should know any of this and his response is?

Because you are old.

Now onto the film itself.

The entire movie takes place in a run down bar out in the middle of nowhere.

It's the kind of bar that you would go to after a rough day at work to suck down a beer, play some pool, relax.

In this bar there are the usual bunch of victims you would expect to find from the hot blonde waitress, the seasoned bartender, the biker chick, the ngle mother waitress, the abuve boss, Jason Mewes, and even a motivational speaker played by Henry Rollins.

The normal life is shattered however when a man named Hero kicks open the door carrying a shotgun and a monster's head and tells them they are about to be attacked.

To go into any more of this film would be to give away the fun it has with it's audience.

Just know that this is a cheap film degned to look like a cheap film so the terrible acting is appropriate and I believe intentional.

It is a check your brain at the door fun ride and one worth seeing.FINAL SCORE:

3 out of 5 Slashes
JohnCarpenterfan Sunday 1/08/2012 at 03:26 PM | 89118
big fan of this flick! wish the sequels would have lived up to the promise
Matt_Molgaard Tuesday 1/10/2012 at 02:18 AM | 89217
Haven't seen the second or third one yet but they are on the to do list.

I loved Henry Rollins bit when the monsters were ung him as a battering ram.

"This is bullsh**!"
JohnCarpenterfan Sunday 1/15/2012 at 01:07 PM | 89491
I did my own review on this film too. I personally like the series and thought they were pretty sweet. But i do agree with you on a few things. This is a movie where you just gotta enjoy the ride and not think to much about it.
kizzle Wednesday 7/04/2012 at 12:58 AM | 94313
I did enjoy the 2nd and 3rd ones too. Obviously not as good as the 1st, but come on... There are very few sequals that do live up to the original
kizzle Wednesday 7/04/2012 at 12:59 AM | 94314