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Victor Salva's ROSEWOOD LANE Is One Wrong Turn! (REVIEW)

Going into ROSEWOOD LANE with semi-low expectations was a mindset that I was hoping would allow me to be pleasantly surprised. After all, Salva has given us both JEEPERS CREEPERS movies and I am a fan. Do I enjoy what the man has done in his personal life? Of couse not, but I was willing to give this film a chance if nothing else than for its star, Rose McGowan.

The story starts off with a twist upon twists. A psychotic paperboy (yes you're reading that right) has taken over this small suburban town named Stillwater. After McGowan's characters father passes away she movies back into the house she grew up in on Rosewood Lane. The only problem bedes a runaway, psychotic paperboy is the fact that McGowen (noted radio talk show host and psychiatrist Dr. Sonny Blake) is her abuve alcoholic father lived in this house, died there and left all the ghosts from McGown's past that she so wishes she could forget.

Ok, so far we have a fairly convoluted story but one that could have actually worked. The acting was on par and the story although out there brought something new to the table. What completely derailed this film was the paperboy storyline. Now it wasn't the fact that the story didn't work even though the killer paperboy sounds lly on paper. What killed the movie was the actor that played the paperboy. The movie was supposed to be based around this psychotic kid that terrorized this neighborhood.

The problem with the film was the paperboy was played by actor Judson Mills who has to be in his 30's. The movie acts like the kid should be about 10. It never says what the boys age is but talks about him living with his parents and makes more than a few comments about him being a youngster. Now that would be eaer to swallow if the actor they picked didn't have an afternoon shadow. Not sure if this was because the director and writer Victor Salva couldn't be around a child for filming but this was a gapping hole that completely ruined the film. Had there been an actual kid it would have been a fun cat and mouse style chase movie.

We get into a lot of weird things in this movie like the reciting of nursery rhymes (again something that if coming from a child would have worked but not a 30 year old). We get a supernatural story about the paperboy and the movie veers left quickly having you wondering if this is some sort of evil spirt/paperboy. If you think I am joking watch the film. Rose McGown and the other cast, all who perform above expectations can't find there way in this convoluted storyline.

The worst part comes at the end when you are literally left wondering what in the hell happened on screen. We get a twist ending that left my wife and I literally in awe of what exactly took place. I won't ruin any spoilers here but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on exactly what Salva was going for in this ending?

All and all this is a forgettable movie that could have made its way through a bizarre story into something special but at the end of the day just left way too many holes opened, so many that the actors themselves couldn't figure out where the story was going towards the end. Salva may be a lot of things and crazy just may need to be added to the list.

Score: D
Horror Domain - Cursed Evil Overlord Monday 2/06/2012 at 07:26 AM | 90208
Anything this scum bag does I won't watch because of what he did in the past I can forgive most things but not when you molest a child the son of a bitch should be doing life in prison instead of making movies .BURN IN HELL YOU CK SON OF A BITCH .
Nightmareblade17 Monday 2/06/2012 at 11:10 AM | 90212
Didn't see the film but my immediate guess is that the paperboy might represent her abuve father? Just a guess,and yes its better that Salva not be around kids
MsMetal Tuesday 2/07/2012 at 09:27 PM | 90258
On one hand, I'm glad I didn't miss anything. I won't put out money on anything Salva is involved in so I'd have had to stream or download it somewhere and it's a bother. On the other hand, I would really like to see Rose McGowan do something worthwhile. Sad.
dew Wednesday 2/08/2012 at 04:01 PM | 90276