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Brace Yourself: Here Come The Horror Remakes!

Brace yourself, horror fans: the march of the remakes continues. While many film fans - horror and otherwise - have been extraordinarily vocal about their disdain for the constant retread of old ideas, and studios’ incessant pumping out of remade films that do not do their originals justice, it makes no difference to the Hollywood movie machine. Here is a quick look at horror films, clasc and otherwise, rumored to be in the running for remakes in the near future.

The Monster Squad (1987)



This 1987 cult clasc just barely made it to dvd and already it’s up on the chopping block. Reports vary as to whether or not the production scheduled for a 2014 release is truly a remake, a sequel, or just a new idea with an old name. With a current plot summary listed as “An action comedy about a neurotic father who faces off against monsters from his childhood”, evidence points towards a sequel - but why? The original film is 25 years old with cult status, not a blockbuster from the recent past. Is waiting a quarter of a century to continue a story really appropriate, or even profitable? Is this a story that even needs to go on? The ragtag band of children facing off against clasc horror monsters was a great idea, but it loses its charm once the children grow up. Verdict: LET IT DIE

Gremlins (1984)



A remake of Gremlins will walk a fine line between paying tribute to a clasc and ung it as a vehicle to display new technology. The film has grown beyond iconic; everyone knows the rules: don’t get them wet, and don’t feed them after midnight. The sweet little mogwai, Gizmo, is a character so cherished that nearly twenty years after the film’s release, a new toy fashioned after Gizmo - a ‘friend of Furby’ Gizmo doll - became a best seller. Even Stripe, the lean mean leader of the gremlins, is ealy recognizable and well-loved. Replacing these creatures with new incarnations would be about as good an idea as having a different actor portray Fred Kreuger! … Oh, wait. Apart from the icon status of the film and its creatures, there is still the issue of new technology. We do so love to show off our fancy new computer skills in film these days, don’t we? Imagine Gizmo and Stripe as intangible computer animations and not the animatronic creatures and puppets we know and love. In two years time, the computer graphics will look dated. Why replace the original with a film that will seem obsolete so soon after release? Verdict: LET IT DIE

Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)



Very little is known about the rumored remake of this Universal clasc, apart from the fact that a script has reportedly been written. Gary Ross, who adapted The Hunger Games for film and wrote the 1988 Tom Hanks clasc Big is said to be behind the script, which could come as good news, particularly so nce his father, Arthur Ross, penned the ‘54 script. Rather than a tear-down and rebuild, this remake might actually be an homage to the original. Attached to the film (again, rumor has it) is current Hollywood it-boy, Channing Tatum. With a film that has remained relatively unscathed for more than fifty years, a new veron hitting screens to draw in some new horror fans might not be a bad thing.

Verdict: GO FOR IT!

Battle Royale (2000)



This Japanese film, based on the novel of the same name by Koushun Takami, is already a cult clasc. The violent tale of high school students forced to battle to the death for their own survival is being released to Blu-Ray this year and was released to US theaters in celebration of the new edition being released, much to the glee of many fans who had never seen it on the big screen. A remake had purportedly been on the books for several years and was thought to have died with the popularity of The Hunger Games - essentially the same story - but could be brought back to life with the publicity generated from the Blu-Ray and theater releases. I will say this only once: STOP ANGLICIZING GOOD FILMS. English-speaking public, it will do you no harm to see a subtitled or, god help us, even dubbed veron of a foreign film. We do not need to remake every great movie from another culture in our own image. Didn’t we learn anything from The Grudge? The Verdict: LET IT DIE

(Bedes, The Hunger Games kind of remade it already... oooh... that’s right I said it.)

Pet Sematary (1989)



Who among us has not winced at little evil Gage’s slice to the Achilles tendon of his kindly neighbor? Little Miko Hughes was the epitome of a creepy little monster child as the unfortunate Gage Creed, raised from the dead by his father’s meddling with ancient burial grounds. While many Stephen King novels are massacred for the sake of film, this was a decent adaptation that brought to life not only the horror of the loss of a child, but crazed lengths a parent will go to recover what they lost. Add in the childhood terror of an ill but very frightening bling, and Pet Sematary is an absolute clasc. Even should a child be found to play young Gage better than Hughes, there is no posble way to replicate the abject horror of Andrew Hubatsek’s gruesome ster Zelda. The Verdict: LET IT DIE (Other King projects rumored for remakes in the near future include Carrie, The Stand and IT. Note to Hollywood: Knock that crap off.)

American Psycho (2000)



The genius of Patrick Bateman has long been that the serial killer’s exploits were set against the age of excess: the 1980’s. The ME decade, when money was wasted on every tiny useless luxury available to the yuppie crowd was the only place for Bateman, a walking, talking, murdering metaphor for everything that was wrong with that mindset. Though the novel has been optioned, it hasn’t been greenlighted by Lionsgate just yet, and let’s keep our fingers crossed that it never is. The remake won’t just be a new adaptation; it will rewrite the entire serial murder saga as having taken place in the modern era, stripping away the subtleties of the original. Bad form! The Verdict: LET IT DIE

So Bidites, what are YOUR thoughts? What movies should be remade? What needs a fresh new look? What needs to stay dead and buried? Comment and tell it like only the hardcore horror fan can.

NOOOO!!! Battle Royale, aka Suicide Club, is getting remade? I have lost all faith in Hollywood.

Suicide Club is a 2001 film about a detective trying to solve a string of murders. Battle Royale is the 2000 film based on Kinji Fukasaku novel of the same name.

i wish they weren't remaking child's play. that franchise should just die already.

The remake grab bag is still full apparently.

Let's see...we still have Christine, The Wraith, Basket Case, Tourist Trap (I'd like to remake that myself, but indie style) Westworld, lent Rage.......

Before you know it, they will start remaking TV movies.

Before you know it, they will start remaking TV movies.

IT and The Stand are both up for new adaptations, and they were both miniseries.

You would think they'd take more chances on original indie films rather than rehashing the same things over and over again.

Well, The Creature from the Black Lagoon I could see a remake for... They've remade all the other clasc monsters. But a Pet Semetary remake? Gremlins?...really?

I would actually welcome the return of Gremlins, but why does it need to be a remake instead of a sequel? Gizmo can still be in it, and could even still be relatively young, nce I don't recall anyone ever specifying how fast Mogwais age.

Although I don't mind a remake of the Creature from The Black Lagoon as it is a favorite of mine I cringed when you said Channing Tatum.

God I will go nuts if he's in it!

Can't stand him and his thuggish acting!!!

Great article. I personally welcome a Pet Semetery remake, I think if done right it could be a blast. But then again, I'm some one who liked The Omen remake.

They can remake The Creature From The Black Lagoon, but none of the others should be made.

I hope that Monster Squad remake doesn't happen. I don't think it would feel the same set in today's times and not the 80s.

Well as bloody disgusting had mentioned before,  the original well always be there, a remake will always be judged but that just makes us horror fans like us alot more appreciative of the original despite at many times when a original movie first comes out judging soon follows until it becomes a cult clasc, it does suck to see remakes but can remakes ever replace the original many times no but then they are those which do succeed, all I can do is see all the remakes judge them and continue to admire the original as it had always been, my point f%#& it you may never know but I would really like to see some actor even come close to portaying bale as Patrick. That's just hollywood being Hollywood no more new ideas, remakes will always be on the horizon, but can they ever really change our minds to follow the new as a "true original" hell no......

The remake grab bag is still full apparently.

Let's see...we still have Christine, The Wraith, Basket Case, Tourist Trap (I'd like to remake that myself, but indie style) Westworld, lent Rage.......

Before you know it, they will start remaking TV movies.

If I'm not mistaken, I think Dont Be Afraid of the Dark was a TV movie. Im sure there are more as well.

The thing about remakes (in some cases) is that sometimes it seems like Hollywood is just ung the name of an original, well because it's familiar. They may take snippets of the original but from what I have seen they can pretty much just make an entirely new movie and not use the same name. Of course this can't work with all movies such as the popular franchises (Jason, Freddy, Myers) - in those instances, just DON'T remake them or create your own character! They won't do this because there is money to be made and despite the cries of the fans (myself included) most will go and watch anyway or they'll just bring in an entire generation of newbs. Either way, they're going to make it.... but why Evil Dead!!! :-(

Didn't Battle Royale get remade a few years ago when they came out with The Condemned.

There were also rumors going around that Escape from New York was going to be remade.

Instead of remaking movies that are loved remake bad ones and try to get them right.

Like Howard the Duck.

Didn't Battle Royale get remade a few years ago when they came out with The Condemned.

There were also rumors going around that Escape from New York was going to be remade.

Instead of remaking movies that are loved remake bad ones and try to get them right.

Like Howard the Duck.

Yes, what he said! :-)

Didn't Battle Royale get remade a few years ago when they came out with The Condemned.

There were also rumors going around that Escape from New York was going to be remade.

Instead of remaking movies that are loved remake bad ones and try to get them right.

Like Howard the Duck.

Dude. Not cool. I flippin' LOVE Howard the Duck!



But yeah. Breck Eisner has optioned Escape From New York for a remake, with the guy who wrote the Wall Street sequel working on the script, but nothing is definite as yet. Eisner also has his hands in a remake of The Brood (79 Cronenberg flick).

Annnd something that looks like a complete rip-off of the graphic novel Fables. WTF?

Hell man, instead of remaking the "Escape from..." films, just do "Escape from Detroit" or "Escape from New Orleans" lol.

While I don't always like how the remakes turn out I don't think they are a bad thing, take for instance a friend of mine from work who was a young lady who came in one morning and told me she'd been to see this"awesome" film called a nightmare on elm street (2011). she said how she loved the character and the idea of the film and she'd buy it when it came out on dvd, I told her it was a remake (which amazingly she didnt know ?? imagine getting to 22 years of age without seeing freddy?) and lent her the original nightmare, she loved every second and is now the proud owner of every film in the franchise, if it hadnt been for the elm street remake she might of gone her whole life without ever seeing the originals so if this happens alot and brings the original clascs that are remade to the attention of the

younger generation then how is it a bad thing? it sure as hell is making sure these amazing peices of art are not just fading into history, for every one remake we are still getting more original stuff anf the remakes can and will never make the originals dissapear in fact in most cases they just elevate the originals reputation and quality, that said don't remake Gremlins just do a decent sequel like immortaldneyp said!

I think if a good director got his hands on Childs Play it could be one of the scariest of all time. It will never happen but the franchise always had untapped potential.

Great article. I personally welcome a Pet Semetery remake, I think if done right it could be a blast. But then again, I'm some one who liked The Omen remake.

I liked the Omen remake too! Very well done. I don't see why anyone thinks the first Omen is such an untouchable masterpiece. It's good but it's far from perfect. Gregory Peck? So what? He gave what was probably the worst performance of his career. For me, The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby are far superior.

Anyway, I was waiting for someone to mention a Pet Sematary remake. I loved Pet Sematary. I was 9 or 10 when I first saw it. It was one of the first uncut rated R movies I had ever seen. Gabe and even more so ZELDA have never weakened their grasp on my imagination. Zelda is posbly the ngle most terrifying thing I've ever seen put to film. I'm glad I'm not tasked with that remake; recreating her is like repainting the Mona Lisa.

Anyway, I was waiting for someone to mention a Pet Sematary remake. I loved Pet Sematary. I was 9 or 10 when I first saw it. It was one of the first uncut rated R movies I had ever seen. Gabe and even more so ZELDA have never weakened their grasp on my imagination. Zelda is posbly the ngle most terrifying thing I've ever seen put to film. I'm glad I'm not tasked with that remake; recreating her is like repainting the Mona Lisa.

EXACTLY. All these years later and I'm still terribly uncomfortable watching those scenes. That is why horror remakes are so touch and go... it's difficult to improve on the scenes that truly terrify. They burn themselves into our psyches and everything else will be a poor substitute.

I agree with everything except pet cemetery. I loved this movie and i also loved the book. the thing that bugged me about the movie is that every animal or person that came back from the grave was mangled and bloody as they were when they died. gage on the other hand came back without a scratch! the poor little turd got owned by a semi truck! in the book gage came back as a nasty mangled little devil. I would like to see a remake keep it real. and as for zelda, she was spooky for sure but she could be far nastier in a remake.

verdict- GO FOR IT! although im sure they would screw it up but what the hell, I'll go see it

I would like to see They Live remade. I've read a lot of people complaining about ruining clascs by remaking them, but the original movie doesn't change. If you don't like the remake, don't watch it twice.

Suicide Club is a 2001 film about a detective trying to solve a string of murders. Battle Royale is the 2000 film based on Kinji Fukasaku novel of the same name.

Oh yeah. After reading this I got them confused. Thanks for clearing that up. :)