Forums Horror Movie Talk
"Hatchet": My 21st Favorite Horror Movie

Welcome, Bidites one and all, to the latest installment of my top 25 favorite horror movies countdown. My next choice also fits in the horror/comedy subgenre I vited last time, when I wrote about Piranha 3D, but this one takes both its scary and humorous elements to greater extremes. I present to you my 21st favorite horror movie of all time:HatchetWriter/director Adam Green's 2006 slasher comedy introduced the world to Victor Crowley, which in my book, is reason enough to reserve a spot for it on this countdown. As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Crowley is in a close race with the Creeper (from the Jeepers Creepers films) for the title of best new supernatural slasher of the last decade. Crowley edges the Creeper slightly right now, because he has a couple things going for him that the Creeper does not. The most immediately obvious advantage is that Victor Crowley is portrayed by horror legend Kane Hodder, who I probably don't have to tell you is the man behind the hockey mask of Jason Voorhees in almost every Friday the 13th film. Crowley's other advantage is the sheer replay value Hatchet

holds for fans of slasher movies, and much of that value comes from the unrestrained savagery of his kills. This is not a monster who is merely scary because he's unfortunate looking (although he is that), or one that is scary in concept but spends most of the movie's run time lumbering menacingly in the distance. Hodder turns Victor Crowley into a whirlwind of shocking violence; the ghost of a mple-minded, tumor-ridden behemoth who will run right up to you with a snarl and peel your face off. Hatchet bills itself as "old school American horror", and then commits itself wholeheartedly to living up to its marketing. Although the comedic aspects of the script are expressed a bit more often, and a bit more overtly, than in many clasc slashers, this is still a throwback to the kind of shameless gorefests that studios used to crank out in the 70s and 80s. While Adam Green obviously had his own benchmarks in mind for what makes this kind of movie good, it's equally obvious that he wasn't too concerned about the criteria that movie critics at large would use to review it. Green was right to trust his instincts. He made an uncomproming horror film that also happens to be quite funny at times, and he made it for us, not for the profesonal critics who can't stop clucking and complaining about it just because it isn't dripping with social consciousness or raing incendiary questions about what it means to be human. Green says "screw all that" with almost every frame of this movie, and it's damn hard not to cheer him on. The plot and premise are both fairly straightforward. Heartbroken 20-something Ben (played by Joel David Moore) drags his reluctant friend Marcus (Deon Richmond) on a haunted swamp tour by boat. There, they meet the grief-stricken and reserved Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), who is on the tour because she needs a way into the swamp to search for misng family members who she believes may have fallen victim to Victor Crowley. Ben is instantly more intrigued by Marybeth than by any of the pilfered scary stories being thrown around by their cheesy poser of a tour guide (a hilarious Parry Shen, who should hug his agent for snagging him one of the best roles in the movie). The boat soon craps out on everyone, and the passengers are left with little choice but to trundle through the swamp. And within the swamp's dank, murky depths they encounter Victor Crowley time and again, appearing from the foliage to thin their numbers.Hatchet sets itself apart from many other slashers in that it doesn't shy away from telling us what Victor Crowley actually is. Nor does it make that backstory more convoluted than it needs to be. In rather effective flashback scenes, we are told of the curse that gave him his rampant tumors, and shown the tragic incident that resulted in his accidental death at the hands of the only person who ever loved him. Personally, I was very impressed with how efficiently and organically Crowley's origin was fit into the narrative, and how easy it made it to suspend my disbelief. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, this movie makes it seem only natural that Crowley would rise from the grave as a violent spirit forever trapped in the night of his death. Sure, it doesn't make any sense in the light of day, but in the world of the movies, it works as well as any supernatural plot thread can be expected to. That Crowley is so well-drawn is one of Hatchet 's greatest triumphs, instantly imbuing him with the feel of a clasc slasher movie antagonist.The movie's other biggest triumphs are the dialogue and the dynamic between the various cast members. In addition to Ben, Marybeth, Marcus and tour guide Shawn, the other passengers on the tour are rounded out by a sweet, middle aged Christian couple (Patrika Darbo and Richard Riehle), as well as two adult film stars (Joleigh Fioreavanti and Mercedes McNab, in the other best roles in the movie) who harbor not-so-secret feelings of hatred for each other when they're not making out at the behest of their "director" (Joel Murray). The interplay between these vastly different characters, with their personal motivations and perspectives, keeps the rare quieter moments lively and engaging, and the script gives the actors a lot to have fun with. Pretty much everyone has something memorable to add in this regard, but the highlight for me was definitely the constant verbal sparring between the porn stars, one of whom went to a prestigious college, while the other is the kind of nightmarish bimbo that makes Tara Reid look like Sophocles.For the horror afficionado, there are some easter eggs in the form of bit parts for icons Tony Todd and Robert Englund. To be honest, these glorified cameos aren't really necessary, but they're innocuous enough not to be a major distraction, and as an expreson of Adam Green's appreciation for those who have gone before in the genre, they do make for very respectful gestures. I am not sure why this movie took such a beating from certain critics, unless maybe they thought they were in store for an adaptation of Gary Paulsen's clasc, young adult novel of the same name. What I do know is that Hatchet is a prime example of why profesonal movie critics can so rarely be trusted when it comes to the horror genre. This is a film that succeeds on its own merits and doesn't give a damn about the expectations of anyone except the devout horror faithful that it was made for. And if you're a fan of this webte, that's something that should make you exceedingly glad. We're about to break into the top 20, so watch out for my next installment!

ImmortalSidneyP Monday 3/12/2012 at 03:57 AM | 91357