Hello Bidites! I have just watched the Cabin in the Woods, which is, I think, the best movie I've seen in theaters in a long time. With the chaos still fresh in my mind, here is a list of all the creatures I can remember from this extremely odd film.
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(Spoiler alert.. Read At Your Own Risk)
~The "Pain Worshipping" Zombie Family- Summoned from their rest by the reading of a Latin phrase found in a diary (A la Evil Dead) These inbred freaks use a variety of weapons, from knives and axes to saws and bear traps on chains to rip apart their victims, they are the main creatures "chosen" by the group.
~"Buzz-saw Head"- my nickname for the Pinhead-esque creature seen during the elevator scene. This was probably my favorite creature, he is extremely creepy and nister, with several buzz-saw blades slicing through his skull. He would have been summoned if Curt had solved a puzzle ball. (Perhaps this is the "Fornicus" on IMDb?)
~The Ballerina- a very disturbing creature, it looks like a 12 year old girl wearing a ballerina outfit, but instead of a face, it has a gaping mouth, with rows and rows of sharp teeth, reminiscent of the Kraken from Pirates of the Caribbean. Would havebeen summoned by a jewelry/ muc box
~The Merman- Probably the source of the most ironic kill in the movie, the Mermen are a near obseson of one of the lead staff members, who's main concern throughout the film is wishing the group had "chosen" the Mermen. It has a scaly, dolphin-like taiI, and a bloated semi- human face. The best part is that after consuming flesh, it spurts blood from it's blowhole. Would have been summoned by a conch shell
~Giant Snake- a huge, CGI cobra, which eats several SWAT team and staff members.
~Werewolf- the first creature seen in the Elevator scene, this beast has a somewhat large role in the final showdown of the film.
~"Angry Molesting Tree"- written on the "Bet Board", an homage to EVIL DEAD, attacks a SWAT team member from an elivator.
~Dragonbat- a cool CGI creature, it attacks several SWAT team members and is thrown into the small control room with the two surviving protagonists (Dana and Marty)
~Scarecrows- Attack Truman (The "New Guy") in the main control room
~Zombie arm- attacks Guard, ends up being extremely helpful to the protagonists...
~Clown- attacks several staff members, is impervious to bullets, kills ung a small knife while giggling
~Robot- a small robot with several appendages ending in saws, blades and pointy objects, drives around killing people
~Masked Lawyers- one of the only creatures in photos released before the movie, these well- dressed murderers are extremely eerie.
~Japanese Floaty Girl- a nod to recent Japanese horror films, this is the creature "chosen" by a classroom of 9 year old girls, who manage to defeat it by nging to turning it into a frog, marking the first time the Japanese team has Failed the sacrifice.
~Ancient Gods- Last, but certainly not least, the Ancient evil Gods which these ritual sacrifices are meant to appease, they seem to be giant humanoids, judging from the huge CGI hand, which appears to be made of Volcanic rock, with small cracks of molten lava.
**There are probably hundreds more that I left out, but these were the ones that stuck out in my mind after one viewing.**
Masked Lawyers
"Zombie Hillbilly Torture Family" Member
Werewolf
And then theres this guy...