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How and Why REAL zombies can happen... SCIENTIFIC FACTS

Our culture is full of tales of the undead walking the Earth, from our religions to our comic books. But, some sort of zombie apocalypse isn't actually posble, right?



Actually, yes. It's quite posble. Here's five ways it could happen, according to science.

5) Parates that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.

This bug infects rats, but can only breed inde the intestines of a cat. The parate knows it needs to get the rat inde the cat (yes, we realize this sounds like the beginning of the most fucked-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parate takes over the rat's freaking brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.

Of course, those are just rats, right?

How it can result in zombies:

Hey, did I mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.

Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going batshit insane.

4) What are they?

There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be condered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.

The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform mple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.

How it can result in zombies:

"Can?" How about "does."

This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. I'm hoping that part wasn't true.

3) What is it?

In the movie 28 days/weeks later, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.

And, when humans eat the meat ...

How it can result in zombies:

When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:

Changes in gait (walking) Hallucinations Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling) Muscle twitching Myoclonic jerks or seizures Rapidly developing delirium or dementia Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.

But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.

2) What is it?

You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can bacally be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenes, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.

You can see where this is going.

How it can result in zombies:

You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.

Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?

Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.

Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.

That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outde in. The outde being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls bac motor function and primitive instincts behind.

You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).

So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there.

1) What are they?

Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisbily build--or destroy--anything. Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't rest seeing how it happens.

How it can result in zombies:

Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fung a tiny licone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.

According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inde your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could posbly go wrong?

Cannibal-69 Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 12:18 PM | 54235
Woa...thats...AWESOME! lol Thanks for the read! Really interesting, and I hope this doesnt happen and become a worldwide accademic.

Grrr madcows....
thatdoomguy666 Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 02:57 PM | 54243
great stuff man...thanks for posting!
ny ghoul Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 03:24 PM | 54244
Very interesting read.
cropsy Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 07:20 PM | 54258
Bridge Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 07:27 PM | 54262
I definately believe it can happen....leave it to our government to fuck around with shit they shouldn't be and kill us all I say who cares if the idea came from movies, it's as good a place as any to start....


kweandee Tuesday 9/08/2009 at 11:49 PM | 54282
Outstanding Post!!!!

take care, Tommy
Homicidal9 Wednesday 9/09/2009 at 11:42 PM | 54350
Glad everyone has enjoyed it... and BEWARE!!!
Cannibal-69 Thursday 9/10/2009 at 02:05 PM | 54381
Hey, Im Ready for it guys!!!!

jasonfan_19 Saturday 9/19/2009 at 03:48 PM | 55006
Awesome post!

At least we will be prepared, we have had years of "training" already...

DarkArtist81 Monday 9/21/2009 at 03:20 PM | 55091
Awesome post!

At least we will be prepared, we have had years of "training" already...Have none of you seen Return of the living dead!!!! What happens if they cant be killed like in the movie and their only motive is to selfishly devour human brains only to temporarily relieve their pain of death!! At least the tarman was cool lol...
Cannibal-69 Tuesday 9/22/2009 at 02:53 AM | 55125
Have none of you seen Return of the living dead!!!! What happens if they cant be killed like in the movie and their only motive is to selfishly devour human brains only to temporarily relieve their pain of death!! At least the tarman was cool lol...

Then we're
kweandee Wednesday 9/23/2009 at 07:11 PM | 55195