First off, we realize this film is over a year old but with its limited release and the fact it's just hitting DVD/Blu-ray, we wanted to revit again for all you Bidites. We also wanted to wait a bit closer to Christmas (we are legally obligated to use the word "holiday" but as always, we fight the machine) when the hustle and bustle was in full swing so everyone would be in the spirit. So here it is, and boy is this film magical!
Over the years I’ve watched plenty of Christmas movies and there are certain ones that I enjoy every year. These tend to be of the more adult oriented kind. Sure Rudolph is a great one but it’s hard to beat out Santa’s Slay for pure holiday joy. Well you can forget about every other movie because Rare Exports will be the only film you need to watch this holiday season. One part comedy and one part horror, Rare Exports had me hooked from start to finish with a great story, perfect acting and an extremely creepy Santa Claus.
Santa doesnt like naughty boys and girls so be sure to follow the rules.
The story starts with an excavation team in the Korvatunturi mountains drilling through all the rock at the request of an American. They find a 65 foot deep layer of sawdust which the American explains was used to create a giant fridge bacally. Underneath they find ice, confirming the American’s thoughts and assuring him that what he was looking for is there. Down the mountain lives Pietari (Onni Tommila) and his father Rauno (Jorma Tommila), a hunter. Rauno and a group of hunters prepare a pen for a herd of reindeer but when only two reindeer show up they go to investigate. They find the herd slaughtered by what they believe is wolves. A fence separates the small town that Pietari lives in and the mountain where the excavation team is but there’s a hole in it. The hunters figure wolves have come through the hole in the fence and destroyed their livelihood but Pietari and his friend Juuso (Ilmari Jarvenpaa) know differently. They know that the American on the mountain was searching for the original Santa frozen in the ice and after researching the history of Santa, Pietari realizes what a danger Father Christmas really is.
This is the kind of movie that’s so good that I just wanna tell everybody all about it but why ruin the fun. The actors do a great job in their roles, starting at oppote ends of the spectrum. Right from the start Pietari is convinced that Santa has been freed from the ice and now he’s trapped in their shed by his dad Rauno. It takes a lot more than a little story to convince Rauno and the other hunters that they have Santa with them. Most of the humour comes from these scenes of Santa being trapped in the shed on Pietari’s land. The thing is that the humour isn’t from an obvious point, it all comes naturally. They aren’t trying to make jokes, the subject matter is treated very seriously and their reactions to a tuation that is so beyond reality are genuine. That’s why it’s so funny. How can you not laugh when you see someone acting honestly about having Santa captured in their shed!
Its up to Pietari to save Christmas, sort of.
The movie looks incredible, made even better by that nice TV I just got myself for Christmas. Huge sweeping shots of snow-capped mountains and gorgeous landscapes populate the film. There’s also some great shots of a herd rushing through the snow. It’s not a herd of reindeer though so I’ll leave it at that. The movie isn’t very gory at all but it’s creepy as hell. The captured Santa is a dirty, naked and skinny old man with eyes like an animal. He never speaks a word, instead just glaring at his captors with hunger in his eyes. Thankfully Santa enjoys gingerbread which Rauno and Pietari have in good supply.
Where else would you store Santa?
The closer the film gets to the end, the more hilarious it becomes. The tuations just become more and more over the top but the movie constently treats them seriously which only makes it even more funny. If there’s any problem with the film it’s going to be the last few minutes for people. I personally found it hilarious and maybe inviting a second feature as well but compared to the tone of the rest of the film it can be a little off. Really, the movie moves from being very serious with its ideas until we finally hit the ending and all the ideas are completely out there. It fits in the grand scheme of the films tone but still feels somewhat out of place at the same time.
That’s really just a tiny little problem in a film that is otherwise perfect. I think this one just topped my Christmas list. It’s the perfect blend of funny, creepy and Christmas. I know this one is running in very limited capacity throughout the States (I think it had a run in New York at least) and if it happens to be anywhere close to you I would suggest watching it. An absolutely incredible flick that will have you doing your best to make it onto the nice list next year. The last thing you need is a dirty, naked Santa coming down your chimney!
Rauno inadvertently captures an old man in a wolf pit he’s built on their property but Pietari knows better. It’s Santa Claus and he’s come down from the mountain to kidnap the children of the village. Rauno and his friends decide they’re going to sell Santa back to the American to make up for the money lost on their herd of reindeer but when they arrive to trade Santa to the American they find out that one Santa is least of their problems.
Review by: HorrorBid's "Canadian" Will
I just wanna point out that this is actually my review that I wrote for Horrorbid last year. Not to be a dick or anything, but I don't want people thinking I swiped it from here and posted it on my te.