Forums
Horror Movie Talk
It Lurks Beneath the Floorboards: Prologue
Okay, this is bacally a horror story I'm working on, and I'm going to post a chapter weekly. The main reason I'm posting it here is so fellow horror fans can critique it, and be honest, even brutally honest if necessary. With the advice, I'm hoping that as the story progresses, so will the quality of the writing. The idea to do this just popped into my head today, so it's not like I've been proof-reading and checking the story over for months. It's your standard monster in the basement story, and no, it is only a coincidence this is my next post after my The House by the Cemetery review, both concerning monsters in the basement. So here we go, and I truly hope you enjoy it...
It Lurks Beneath the Floorboards
Prologue
The man ran. He didn’t know what he was running from, nor did he know why he was running because he knew there was no chance of survival for him. So he ran. And fast. He couldn’t see where he was going, and was ung his hands to feel along the rough walls to navigate himself through the hellish maze. His left leg was a shredded mess, with several torn veins and posbly a punctured artery. Every so often he let out a sob and quickly stopped breathing for fear that whatever was giving chase to him would hear. He was being driven to the point of total insanity by the scraping of its nails against the rock floor, and the moaning that would radiate from a thousand damned souls. He could gradually smell the fresh air getting stronger and stronger as he progressed, and knew he was close to freedom.
Adrenaline raced through his body, rivulets of sweat poured down his face, and oddly enough, he found the whole tuation humorous. When he had moved into his house, he, like most people, had thought of it as his impenetrable fortress. Now, here he was, in his house, racing through dark corridors he never thought existed, and about to face death one on one. The air around him reeked of sweat, blood, and the peculiar odor the being radiated that smelt of mildew and sour milk.
At long last, he could feel a light breeze blowing through his hair like invible arms beckoning him to use that last bit of strength he had in his body. A faint light appeared up ahead, and the man stumbled in his anxious sprinting to reach it. The light grew and grew as did his anticipation. At long last, he reached it. His mind sang “Hallelujah” as he just stood in the entrance to the cavern, dumbfounded that he made it out. He heard blue jays tweeting outde, the distant sound of a lawnmower, and the squealing of tires as the stupid teenager next door was drag racing with his friend. Giggling insanely, he took a wary step forward…
…and something sucked him kicking and screaming back into the tunnel.
The birds sang, the revving of a car engine continued, and the man across the street continued to cut his grass.
It Lurks Beneath the FloorboardsPrologue
The man ran. He didn’t know what he was running from, nor did he know why he was running because he knew there was no chance of survival for him. So he ran. And fast. He couldn’t see where he was going, and was ung his hands to feel along the rough walls to navigate himself through the hellish maze. His left leg was a shredded mess, with several torn veins and posbly a punctured artery. Every so often he let out a sob and quickly stopped breathing for fear that whatever was giving chase to him would hear. He was being driven to the point of total insanity by the scraping of its nails against the rock floor, and the moaning that would radiate from a thousand damned souls. He could gradually smell the fresh air getting stronger and stronger as he progressed, and knew he was close to freedom.
Adrenaline raced through his body, rivulets of sweat poured down his face, and oddly enough, he found the whole tuation humorous. When he had moved into his house, he, like most people, had thought of it as his impenetrable fortress. Now, here he was, in his house, racing through dark corridors he never thought existed, and about to face death one on one. The air around him reeked of sweat, blood, and the peculiar odor the being radiated that smelt of mildew and sour milk.
At long last, he could feel a light breeze blowing through his hair like invible arms beckoning him to use that last bit of strength he had in his body. A faint light appeared up ahead, and the man stumbled in his anxious sprinting to reach it. The light grew and grew as did his anticipation. At long last, he reached it. His mind sang “Hallelujah” as he just stood in the entrance to the cavern, dumbfounded that he made it out. He heard blue jays tweeting outde, the distant sound of a lawnmower, and the squealing of tires as the stupid teenager next door was drag racing with his friend. Giggling insanely, he took a wary step forward…
…and something sucked him kicking and screaming back into the tunnel.
The birds sang, the revving of a car engine continued, and the man across the street continued to cut his grass.
ObscureCinema101
Tuesday 8/16/2011 at 07:27 PM | 80794
Intriguing! Would love to see more!
dew
Wednesday 8/17/2011 at 02:21 AM | 80838
not bad, headed to check out the next chapter, which you just posted :)
Matt_Molgaard
Tuesday 8/23/2011 at 03:34 PM | 81371
