As self-proclaimed purists, the vast majority of horror fans find more enjoyment bashing genre remakes than encouraging their production. To be fair, a large majority of these contemporary reboots are terrible, soulless efforts, created for the sole purpose of financial gain. Sure, there are a few that pop up here and there that actually manage to exceed expectations, and even occaonally surpass the quality of the original; But let’s be real, those cases are few and far between (The Hills Have Eyes and The Thing are a few solid examples of fantastic remakes).
Rummaging through my obscene collection of films, I found myself asking no one in particular an interesting question: What horror movies should be remade? Honestly, what flicks could benefit from a fresh approach and advanced technology?
A few films popped into mind, without a hint of hetation…10. Near Dark: Make no mistake about it: you really can’t replace the amazing cast showcased in this 1987 cult clasc bloodsucker tale. That said, there are a few weak points in the script that could be tightened up, the finale could be delivered with finer precion, and we could be fortunate enough to be blessed with more focus on Severen (originally portrayed by Bill Paxton), who is clearly the film’s most memorable character.
09. Dressed to Kill: Brian De Palma’s creepy chiller is already a mind boggling film that boasts numerous sequences now condered clasc. You can’t improve upon this one too much, but a brisker pace could certainly be beneficial, and a reboot would introduce an eerie story to a younger market that (somehow) seems oblivious to its existence.
08. Demon Seed: Here’s a great example of a film that could benefit from the industry’s visual advancements. Dean Koontz’s tale of a power hungry computer program could be transformed into a masterpiece with a hint of subtle CGI, and some more complex practical effects.
07. Clownhouse: This one is deeply disturbing. The idea of escaped psychopaths disguised as clowns, stalking children is unnerving enough, factor in the twisted emphas on scantily clad children in the presence of convicted child molester Victor Salva and you’ve got a bona fide shocker. Due to the controversy surrounding Salva and the picture, Clownhouse has become a tough find. A new, less perverted director could breathe new life into this disturbing gem mply by eliminating all the tighty-whitey shots.
06. Pumpkinhead: We all know that plenty of Pumpkinhead flicks have hit the market nce Stan Winston first introduced us to the titular character in 1988. But let’s all be honest: this story has yet to be served justice. The original has all the elements to make a phenomenal film, but poor acting, a few plot holes and some atmospheric issues hold the feature back. It’s time to see this one remade under the guidance of someone with the pedigree of say, Eli Roth, or Adam Green.
05. It: I shouldn’t need to deliver many reasons this one qualifies as a sound remake candidate: The original is so extremely dated and goofy it’s tough to watch. Given the terror within the pages of Stephen King’s novel, it’s a damn injustice. It’s time to do it properly!
04. Queen of the Damned: No need to waste space here: Scott Abbott and Michael Petroni absolutely massacred this screenplay. The entire film plays out like disjointed rock video rather than a complex vampire tale. It’s time to fix this flub.
03. Rawhead Rex: If you’ve ever read Clive Barker’s original short story, you understand just how badly George Pavlou slaughtered this tale. The atmosphere is all wrong, the effects are uninspired and there aren’t too many noteworthy performances from the little known cast. It’s a shame to be honest, as this one could make for a marvelous contemporary creature feature. We’ll likely never see this story approached by Hollywood again, and that’s flat out wrong. RR is extreme potential gone to miserable waste.
02. Season of the Witch: This film is damn near perfect. The atmosphere is incredible, capturing the essence of Halloween with seeming ease; the acting is terrific, as might be expected from genre favorites Tom Atkins (who, as usual makes a fine hero) and Dan O'Herlihy (who doesn’t miss a beat as the villainous Conal Cochran) and the story itself is abnormally ominous (Conal made killing kids cool when the idea was so taboo it generated social outcry). The one and only reason this film should be remade is to detach the word ‘Halloween’, and hope that a contemporary approach might finally lead to the credit this treasure has deserved nce conception.http://youtu.be/zKNIqG9J2KU
01. The Prowler: And we cap off our list with a mega slasher bust. You’ll see diehard fans swear by the quality of this one, but that’s such a deluonal opinion that it staggers me to speak on it. The picture is terrible. It’s predictable and so far beyond formulaic that even the term cliché seems inadequate. The Prowler is just dull on all fronts, and if not for some fair special effects from Tom Savini, not a ngle soul would acknowledge its existence. I’d love to see a capable scribe tackle this project; someone like Todd Farmer could drastically change the general perception of The Prowler. Better late than never, right?