Note: Contrary to my traditional practice of omitting spoilers, you may very well find a few revealing details in this piece. So, if you haven’t seen this picture, and aren’t out to have me ruin it for you, it may be a good time to head back to the home page and read something else
ted far too many opportunities that so many stellar flicks are never proffered; it’s probably safe to assume that Fred Andrews is an unbelievably popular fellow, he’s clearly got a legion of friends in high places, which sadly, has only empowered him in such a manner that he’s successfully able to further tarnish a film genre that already catches more than enough shit from critics.
Why I disliked the film initially: Because it’s a pretty fucking terrible movie. I should save myself some time and effort and leave it at that, as that’s certainly the truth, but I’ll elaborate for the sake of readers. Creature is actually a good flick, for 16 minutes; then it completely jumps the shark, favoring anine plot twists, crude character maneuvers and downright offenve content, and it’s not offenve in a ‘oh, that really ruffled my feathers’ sense, it’s offenve in a ‘this is a fucking pathetic attempt at shock value’ kind of way. The clichés abound, and the few attempts to break the traditional horror molds tend to backfire (the closest thing to a successful departure from the norm is nominating the film’s lone black man as the hero).
There are enough miserable elements to the film to spew off for an hour straight, but I’m not out to spoil your day. I’ll mply say this, the incestuous elements of the never strike the chord they’re intended to, and they just feel more awkward than unsettling; I’m not sure how you do it, but somehow Andrews manages to make these sequences neither completely repulve, nor outlandishly humorous, which leaves them just floating about, feeling like failed attempts to rock the boat, and resulting in little more than lame filler. The film’s concluon is awkward as all hell, as Niles tangles with the creature for a few minutes in what you assume is the grand finale: it’s not, suddenly the creature and Niles’ girl Emily are being sucked into a nkhole, Niles follows suit, a few moments pass, Emily reemerges, and Niles follows with the jawbone of the creature in his hand. Seriously, all that toe to toe action, only to have our seemingly invincible villain toppled beneath the earth’s surface, where we never see a moment of the action unfolding? As odd as it may seem, Creature feels as though Andrews shot the entire film in chronological sequence, but had completely run out of finances by the third act.
Did I change my mind about the film upon reexamination? Nope, I sure didn’t. I give this cast credit, because it’s very obvious that they’re offering forth everything they’ve got, and I give a nod to the first 15 minutes of the picture, because it does indeed feel like a solid setup to some brainless action, and finally, I do extend some respect to Fred Andrews for attempting to give the horror audience something they’ve demanded for so long now: a fun monster movie that doesn’t lean on absurd digital visuals, however, nothing about the film jives as a whole coheve unit. It’s just an awkward mess that seems to drag on about 75 minutes too many. Save your time and money, and don’t test your patience: avoid this one like the plague, as it’s every bit as bad as initially perceived.So, that concludes my look at the major duds of 2011. As you’ll note the only film to truly win me over after having been dismissed was Apollo 18, which is a surpringly kick ass flick that’s earned a wealth of unwarranted hate. Fright Night had the potential to be a highly enjoyable piece of work, but shoddy writing and miserable CGI buried that concept. The Thing prequel is more enjoyable upon second viewing, but again computer generated bullshit drive the stake through the heart. As for Creature, well, it may truly be the worst film of 2011, as it actually becomes worse after a lone viewing.Follow Matt Molgaard on Twitter